


That's what friends are for

by Steena



Series: Maintaining peace [4]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Bullying, Crack, Drinking someone under the table, Drunk mech, Drunk transformer, Flirting, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Kind of fluffy, Mechs being afts, Nasty prank, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8781931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steena/pseuds/Steena
Summary: Mikaela was just going home. But, as usual, since the peace was a fact, nothing is ever that easy. Mechs are being afts, and she sticks herself with the mess. Because someone has to be the grown up, right? And because friends have each other's backs.





	

Mikaela walked out of the Autobot's base, or whatever you would call it, considering they weren't at war anymore. She hummed to herself. It had been a calm evening, she had spent it with Ironhide in his quarters, having a marathon of watching Herbie-movies. Ironhide, the big gun-slinging brute that he was, found it incredibly amusing and she indulged him.

She rounded the corner to the parking lot, heading for her car, an old Trans am she had bought with some of the money she earned on the calendar. It was in considerably better shape than her old car, and had been well maintained by the previous owner and she enjoyed driving it immensely. She still let Ironhide drive her a lot of the time but it was practical to have some means to get around by herself. Besides, sometimes a girl just needed some alone time. Just her, the rumbling v8 and the road.

But once she lifted her gaze to look at the red beast, she stopped short. Red and blue lights flashed from the other side of her car. _What the...?_

Then she heard the telltale hydraulic hiss and metallic sounds of plating shifting in a transformation and Barricade stretched to his full height. The Decepticon swayed on his legs and promptly tipped over backwards. He tried to smooth it over by rolling onto his side, propping his helm on his servo, facing the car.

"Aah, come on. Don't play hard to get." He said to the car but of course, it just sat there.

He dragged a digit along one of the seams in the fender suggestively. Mikaela's eyes widened. _You have got to be kidding me._

She started walking over to the pair. _Or whatever._ Barricade crept closer to her car, kind of nuzzling the door and he hummed in appreciation.

"You're so beautiful. And you smell so good." He pinched the tyre.

Mikaela stared at him, hands on her hips.

"Just what in the pit do you think you're doing, Barricade?"

"Oh, Hi Kae! I'm trying to flirt with this little hottie..." His intake hiccupped. "But he's ignoring me." He stage whispered and managed to tip over even though he was already lying down, landing flat on his back.

"I don't know why, am I not good looking enough? Do I need flashier colors?" Barricade's vocalizer was laced with static.

"You're drunk." Mikaela stated flatly, staring at the mech on the ground. _What was the issue with intoxicated Cybertronians and her cars?!_

That's when she heard muffled laughing and movement from behind some bushes ten yards to the side. She looked over there with narrowed eyes but couldn't see anyone.

"Maybe a little." Barricade slurred.

Mikaela turned on her heel, quickly walking around the bushes to find Jazz, Skywarp, Dirge, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker crouched down. Sideswipe was biting his servo to the point of denting it not to start laughing, Jazz was whisper-laughing and Skywarp held his servos across his optics.

"What is going on here?! _Why_ is Barricade trying to molest my _car_?" Mikaela snarled.

The mechs burst out laughing.

"He..." Jazz struggled to invent through laughing. "He was fragged off that he wasn't invited to our little party and just wouldn't stop bitching about it."

"So we..." Haha. "We..." Skywarp trailed off, laughing too hard to speak.

"Got some 'shine from Hide and made a party happen." Sunstreaker finished the sentence.

"He tried driving and skidded into the bushes. Both the twins had to help pulling him free. He'll probably be picking leaves and parts of cacti from his protoform for _weeks!_ " Jazz laughed.

"I've never seen that mech lose control of his sirens before. It was hilarious." Dirge was rolling on the ground, holding his ventral plating.

"You should've _seen_ it! He's going 10 miles an hour, like driving Miss Daisy, and all of a sudden everything starts flashing." Skywarp managed to get out.

"And his sirens started blaring..." Sunstreaker filled in.

"...and that freaked him out even more, so he yelped through the bullhorn!" Sideswipe yelled.

"Then he got even more freaked out and ran off the other side of the road." Jazz laughed.

"And obviously, he has a crush on your car." Dirge pointed out. "And we got it all on camera!" His said in a singsong voice.

Mikaela tapped her foot.

"But if this is a party, why is _he_ drunk off his ass and you are all sober?"

"We did this drinking game and he kind of won a lot." Dirge explained.

"He's a lightweight. Doesn't take a lot to get him drunk?" Jazz answered evasively but Mikaela didn't miss his questioning tone.

"And he hasn't had alcohol before so he just happened to have too much." Skywarp chimed in.

"And none of you thought about stopping him?" Mikaela was growing increasingly irritated with the situation.

"He has been such a pain in the aft. Not to mention that wake up call he did to us." Sunstreaker shrugged, unrepentant, as always.

"Besides, we had almost the same number of jugs." Dirge looked very pleased with himself. "Ours just might have been a little diluted." He burst out laughing, high fiving Sideswipe.

"Kae? I'm not feeling so good..." Barricade sounded weak, his speech hard to comprehend.

Mikaela turned to him when she heard the unmistakable sound of a mech purging his tanks. He was splayed out on his front, resting on his elbows and had emptied his tanks across his lower arms.

"Did you get that?" Someone said.

"Yep." Dirge.

"Sweet! That's so going on YouTube." Sideswipe.

Behind her, she heard triumphant hissing from the others and high fiving and backslapping.

" _You_ _..._ " She turned to the group. "Are _unbelievable_ _!_ What kind of mechs _are_ you?! You have been drinking him under the table and now you are _filming_ it?"

"Oh, come on. It's just a prank." Skywarp tried.

"No it isn't. This is _bullying_! You put it on the internet and it _never_ goes away." Mikaela talked with a ferocious conviction. Maybe she'd been through something similar.

"But he's been an aft..." Dirge whined.

"I swear to all things sacred that if so much as a _second_ of your recordings wind up on the internet, I'll make it my personal mission to find every single fuck-up you've _ever_ made in front of a security camera and I'll post it _everywhere_. I don't care if the footage will include me streaking, it _will_ be up there for everyone to see." Mikaela snarled between clenched teeth.

She turned on her heel and went back to the mustang still sprawled in the dirt.

"You feel better now, Cade?"

"Ah l'tle." He could hardly vocalize it.

"Come on, let's clean you up." She started walking back to the door.

Barricade tried to get up, he really did, but all he managed to accomplish was falling over again. Eventually he got to his pedes, swaying and staggering dangerously. A picture of her flattened under the mech popped into Mikaela's head. _That_ _wouldn't_ _fly_ _._ She got an idea.

 _"_ Can you get back to your altmode?"

"Th'nk scho."

It was a slow and awkward process and for a little while Mikaela suspected that Barricade had forgotten where one of his arms were supposed to fit in, but eventually he made it.

"OK, Cade. Since you're in no state to drive yourself, I'm going to drive you into the washracks. Can you let me do that?" She put her hand in the doorhandle.

"Fine." He sounded like he would be pouting if he was human.

Mikaela opened the door and got in on the driver's side. _It felt awkward somehow._ She turned and promptly fell out through the still open door.

"Barricade! Get that holoform away! I'm not sitting in his lap! Your lap? Whatever."

"Ol' h'bit. Sorry, Kae." he didn't sound sorry at all.

"You know, he looks like a creepy, old highway cop who'd ask me for a blowjob instead of giving me a ticket. If you have to use your holoform with me around, at least look like yourself. _Please._ "

"Yu'd like that?" He sounded excited through his drunken slur.

"Yeah. I mean, you're _you._ I like you for who you are. Not _what_ you are. Definitely not for what you make your holoform look like."

"Sorry for trying to kill you."

"Apology accepted. Now, can I drive you to the washracks before you pass out?"

"Yes."

She got behind the wheel again, this time without sitting in a lap. Mikaela pushed the clutch down and put the mech into gear, her hand stroking the smooth metal on the knob of the stick slightly. It earned her a moan and she snatched her hand away.

"Barricade, what part of you turns into the shift stick?"

"My spike." He sounded just a little embarrassed.

"I see." _This will be awkward._ She whispered to herself.

The saleen shuddered and stifled another moan on the next try.

"Let's just agree to never, ever talk about this." She told the mech, praying that he wouldn't even remember it.

A new holoform materialized out of nowhere beside her and she startled, yanking the wheel and almost hitting the door.

"Damn it, Cade! How'm I supposed to get you inside in one piece if you keep scaring me?"

"Sorry." The voice came from all around inside the car, but the holoform's intakes moved as he spoke.

She looked at the holoform. This time it looked like Barricade, only small enough to fit in the car. He scooted closer. Fingers caressed her thigh surprisingly gently. Mikaela's breath hitched despite herself, a physical response to the suggestive touch. She _was_ still a teenager, dammit, and her hormones were still running wild.

"Cade, I don't think that is a good idea. You're drunk."

"But I like you."

Mikaela snorted. "Don't tell Ironhide about it. I don't think you would survive _that._ "

"So you two are really clanging?"

"What's... Oh! _Eew_! No, definitely not."

"Then why can't we...?" Barricade trailed off, his holoform dragging a careful digit down her side.

Mikaela shuddered. She had never thought about the possibilities with the holoforms. If it would be enjoyable for the mech too... _So not the point! Bad Mikaela!_

"It's just wrong! You're a robot and I'm a squishy organic. And you are drunk. I'm just going to get you into the washracks right now."

She pointedly kept her eyes away from the holoform beside her and on the hallway as she crept forward in the saleen. She didn't trust Barricade not to all of a sudden try to drive himself, so she crept forward, keeping in the middle of the hallway.

They got there without any more drama and as Barricade managed to transform back, not without problems, she commed Ironhide. _Damned_ _straight, she had comms too._ A gift from Lennox, a military grade throat microphone and headset. If she was to hang out with the 'Bots, she didn't want to be left out.

The Saleen sank down on the floor, looking very tired by now, and Mikaela started the water and grabbed a brush. He crawled in under the spray, sagging against the wall, and she started cleaning out the half processed moonshine from his transformation seams. Barricade made a weird exvent.

"Are you going to purge again?" She asked.

He nodded, looking queasy, and Mikaela backed off, giving him space. He purged again, just as Ironhide walked in.

"Ugh." The weapons specialist looked disgusted.

"Oh, come on. It's not like we've never been hammered beyond control of ourselves." She waved at him dismissively.

Mikaela hosed down the vomit and returned to cleaning the miserable Mustang.

"I set up a guestroom, as you asked me to." Ironhide said.

"Thank you. He's not driving _anywhere_  himself, and I'm not going to ask Megatron to send a transport. Enough mechs know about this already."

She turned off the water, getting a cloth to wipe the slumped mech. Barricade tried to do it himself, with uncoordinated movements, clumsy talons not able to really grab the cloth. Mikaela batted his servos away, working quickly.

"Just stay online for a few more minutes, and we'll have you in a berth in no time." She soothed, caressing his audial in a comforting way.

"Thanx, Kae."

"Don't mention it. What are friends for?"

Two of Barricade's optics flickered offline but two remained dimly lit. Ironhide helped the mech up with a displeased grunt. The 'Con hung limply in the bigger 'Bots grasp.

"Frag." He groused, realizing Barricade didn't even try to stand on his own.

"No. You're too big." Barricade mumbled.

Mikaela snorted, partially because of the disgusted face Ironhide made. Ironhide glared at the girl and scooped up the Mustang, easily carrying the smaller mech out of the washracks. Mikaela trailed after them, comming Optimus to inform him of their guest. Truce or not, they were still putting a 'Con in a guestroom.

"You're so lucky." Barricade slurred to Ironhide.

"Excuse me?"

The Saleen's helm lolled and he looked up at the 'Bot carrying him.

"You getta interface with Mikaela." Barricade mumbled.

Ironhide sputtered. Mikaela was busy on the comm and didn't hear the potentially dangerous escalation of the situation.

"What?! I do _not_ interface with her!"

"Why no'? You to''lly sch... Should. Or somebot else mite do it. She'sh nice"

"That's the most perverted thing I've ever heard!" The telltale whine of Ironhide's cannons powering up grew louder as he spoke.

"Ohkay, that is enough, you two!" Mikaela hurried up to them.

"But..." Barricade started but Mikaela cut him off.

"No, that's enough! You're drunk and don't know what you are saying. And Ironhide! He's drunk and don't know what he's saying!"

Ironhide growled but powered down his guns. Barricades optics went black and his vents slowed down as he suddenly fell into recharge. Ironhide carried the passed out Mustang into the guestroom and dumped him on the berth, a little more unceremoniously than Mikaela would have liked, but she'd roll with it. He'd done more than she could even hope to beg for.

"I guess we'll be staying here." She said, climbing onto the couch.

"What?!"

"Oh come on." She scoffed. "He needs someone to keep an optic on him, in case he gets any adverse effects of the alcohol."

Ironhide crossed his arms across his broad chest plates and Mikaela sighed inwardly. _Did she really need to coax millions of years old 'Bots to be a little courteous? When did she turn out to be the grown up?_

"Would you really leave a _'Con_ unsupervised in the base?" She knew how to play the weapons specialist.

"No." He growled.

She patted the couch beside her.

"Come'ere. You should thank him tomorrow."

He sat down next to her.

"Why?"

"Because I was going _home._ Now I'm spending the night."  _Babysitting an inebriated millions of years old mech._  She withheld the last part and leaned into his leg, sliding a hand over smooth armor.

"Hmh. We shall see."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
